you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
