i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
