look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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