i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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