is your mom at the bar?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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