Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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