he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
