you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
