your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
