those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
