Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
