Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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