Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My feet surprised me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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