So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
