All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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