In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
