Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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