I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
