so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
