I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
