I wannas sexs uuuuu
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
