We're facebook friends in real life
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
