This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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