I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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