I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
