pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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