...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
