And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fuck appropriateness.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
