Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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