How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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