I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
