Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
