We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
