My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
