When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
