ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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