what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
