Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
