My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
