Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
