Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
