sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
