Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
