I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
