I could have mohawked her pubes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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