We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
