wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
