Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
