Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
