Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
