I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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